It took three years for me to know the reason why I was so adamant. Even if it takes 10, if God is your will, He will reveal the reason or the lesson. In due time, He maketh all things beautiful.

 I wanted to be married; always have. But when that question was brought to the table I brushed it away. A certain fear had engulfed me that I did not want to put titles on what I presumably had. I wanted to be there, and not be there. I used the broken marriages, relationships and situationships around me as yardsticks to measuring my success in marriage. It was not making sense to him that I was in and out. One day am in for the idea and in a few hours I didn’t even want it mentioned. 

Marriage to me is hardwork and I don’t think then I was willing to take on. BUT I still enjoyed  the dinner dates, the romantic gateaways, the family get-togethers, the sleep overs and sleep ins . Emotionally,  I was searching for something more. I wanted a familiarity that he did not offer. I wanted him to know me yet I was not giving him a chance. Every time  I had issues with him, i would log off and log in to someone I thought would understand me( weirdly they were all men), which brought issues but being too selfish I would brush him off as insecure.

Then i was in too deep without my knowledge. When it hit me, i felt caged. But I accepted the fate and decided to make do. I derived temporary happiness that would end up in tears when I was alone and I lacked a logical explanation to it. Mapenzi ni kuvumiliana.

Given then I was not as connected to my source, i did not realize that I was fighting a battle that I had no idea of. I was not well equipped. Just when i was about to make a decision that would change the whole course of my life, a huge scandal happened. Once that redirected me to where God needed me. I have been guilty of so many things but the level of false accusation in this one was appalling. I was broken to pieces that I tried in my own mind to put together but I still ended up in a desolate place.

When God’s call is upon your life, the separation will happen. I was about to tie myself forever to someone who was not God’s best. He knew the setting apart had to happen and a circumstance that was beyond my understanding had to be created. I am alive now since God raised a standard high above the evil one. A donkey and an ox cannot be yoked together ( anyway, then we were both donkeys😂😂but you get my point I hope)

I came to understand the reason why I was not feeling that marriage thing. It has taken a breaking and God’s love to know and accept it.

This has been a very difficult post to write. Am not doing so to victimize anyone but to tell you my story of God’s grace and faithfulness. As things unfold and am graced to write more, i will keep on fixing my eyes on Him. The author and finisher of my faith. Hebrews 12:2
Broken to be made whole.


Exactly one year ago,  I wrote this post on Facebook. Being a PK then later a BK, comes with its perks.  Good and bad. The next time you wish to judge and point fingers, also remember to pray and intercede for them.  This is the group that the devil attacks directly after the service or mission has a breakthrough. They are targets and society adds to the pressure. Here is the post

Growing up as a Preacher’s Kid (PK) is not an easy thing. Moreso, in a starting ministry. Your little mind has to wrap and understand what is going  around you with little or no explanations. Everything in that house is about God. So, you grow up making God a routine rather than your ultimate. The standards placed on you by the congregation are so high that they forget your parents did not give birth to little pastors. They are as their children who need direction. Sometimes even teachers pick on you. I remember, in class seven, the school introduced tuition on Sundays and the headtacher called me out on a parade of over too students saying , ” Oyugi najua hautakuja kesho kwasababu ya kanisa, ukirukaruka pale kwa pulpit. Ukose kesho utaniona.” ( Oyugi I know you will not show up tomorrow cause of Church, you will be jumping up and down the pulpit. Miss tomorrow’s class and you will face it). The church was right opposite the school. My sister was once told she would be beaten then dad would pray  for her. Mind you, Dad was still a teacher then!! So you grow up into ministry and with the ministry.  People expect so much from you and they don’t even offer the perfect example to you. And though it may be up for discussion,MOST PKs DONT END UP BEING BORN AGAIN. We may serve in church for a long time but without having our own encounter with God. Some even end up hating the church. Since you seem to think God robbed you of your parents, of all the good things you may have had in favour of the church and when the go out on missions it is you (the kids) the devil targets.
We are the hardest group to get through to since we know scripture way too well and you even know how the missions team start out hence the counter is stronger. It takes GOD and GRACE. The biggest discouragement for these kids usually comes from church hence it is imperative to put them in prayer all the time. Some out here are just covered by their parental prayers. Some PK’s will end up in ministry,  some will not. And it’s okay. 

If you are a PK  And you are struggling,  it is okay. The Lord is still your inheritance. He promised that to the house of Levi. To Aaron’s house. You were never born in that house by mistake.  God’s work has no errors. You may be struggling to come back since you feel you have done so much and God may not pardon you. You are not alone, I have been there. I even stopped going to church completely for close to 4 years. And when I went I was so critical that if God was reaching out I had already put up huge defences. But once you allow Him, He will transform and renew you ( Romans 12:1-2). Like the prodigal son, He will accept you with open arms, with no condemnation whatsoever  ( Romans 8:1). You are cut out for greatness. You are meant for more and it’s never too late. Being a PK is a blessing.



A Promise Kept, Delivered 24 Years Later: Born of Nobles 

Nobility : How can I define this? Unless I delve into these details, you may not understand my excitement. 

Today am more than amazed. And that is because of my roots. 24 years ago, Dad, gave me a challenge. That it was not just enough to be number one anymore. That I needed to create a record. That if I did it,  he would grant me the wish I had all along. I really wanted to visit Uhuru Park. I only knew Uhuru park from Reinhard Bonke’s posters and calenders in the house. Being a village girl,  Uhuru Park was a big deal. 
See,  my dad was a teacher then. And such challenges were taken with the seriousness they deserved. I worked hard,  to just prove to him that I could. Then,  we used to do eight subjects in lower primary. Given the previous term I had gotten 641/800, I targeted around 690 thereabout. 

End term and I surpassed the mark and went well into the 700. I couldn’t wait to get home so I could get the date for my Uhuru Park. So much ran into my head. The headteacher and my classteacher had given me cash prizes (which was a first,by the way). I ran home hoping to find daddy. There he was seated with our Bishop then,  Bishop Isaka. Another cash award from  the Bishop. Then I asked for my gift.  

It was promised and it would be delivered. My dad had always kept his word.  Given ministry and civil duties,  my trip never materialized. I told myself,  I would wait,  no matter how long. 

 I came to Nairobi later to join Kenyatta University. And I would pass Uhuru Park by and remind myself that one day Daddy will take me there. I wanted daddy to take me.  12 years in Nairobi of waiting. 5 years ago,  when I was home,  I told him I will not go to Uhuru Park until he fulfills his promise. 

Yesterday,  he travelled to Nairobi and late evening he broke the news. Finally,  am taking you to Uhuru Park. I even got butterflies. I saw the boat ride like I had always imagined ( I miss my childhood) 

Well,  it may just be a park.  To me,  it is a place I worked so hard to see. A place I only wanted by father to take me. A place I have experienced everything I wanted to as a child. 

Today my father proved me right. Today,  he just set the standard so high. You may think it was just a child’s wish. But him fulfilling it with the number of years gone,  24 to be exact, I still know he will fulfill his promises. 

He has promised and delivered a lot in these 24 years. This one was just the icing on the cake. I will always honour this man,  I will always adore my father.  

Bishop,  a blessed to be yours. 

God bless you and keep you for us Papa

Bishop Norbetus Oyugi 

My father is a noble man.  I am my father’s daughter. Both in Heaven and on Earth. 



My 2018 Prayer 


Dear Lord 

For the first time I want to say thank you for my brokenness. For in my broken state,  I have been able to experience you. You became one with me. I have experienced intimacy. 

There are levels of intimacy that I never knew existed. Am still in awe. You have gotten so naked with me that I need no other. You have touched me in a way only you can. 

Thank you for the Holy Spirit. Oh Lord,  who and what would I be if it wasn’t for you. Your work is not yet complete and I can only imagine how much you have in store for me.  Now. And eternally. 

Every single day you are conforming and perfecting me. To be one with you. To be more like you. Every single day, I pray to go even deeper with you. 

My soul is ready

My spirit is ready 

My body is ready 

I have been struggling to subject this body to you. In so many things. It has not been easy but slowly am winning this battle with the help of the Holy Spirit. I understand that by myself. I am sinful and that it is not by power or might. But only,  and only by your Spirit. 

I yearn to grow my spirit man to insurmountable strength. I yearn to see you more in me. 

All these years. I have had prayers for the year.  This year. I only want you.  Seeking you and things that are only of you.

I know what it takes,  and am ready. Above all,  I want to share this you with others. Share your undying unconditional love. Share your original plan for our creation. To worship and for communion. 

You are too beautiful To be boxed.  Too awesome to be owned,  yes. Am willing to share. 

I love the way you look at me. I love the way you see me. I love the way you care. The way you yearn for my company. I love the way I am your plan. I love the way you are never busy for me. I love the way you stretch out your hand for me.  I know you love. 

Help me love like you love me. Help me reach out like you do. Help me care just like you. Help me see beauty in ashes as you did me. 

Thank you for meeting me at my end. For at that end,  you blessed me. 

I hold onto your word in Matthew. 

Matthew 5:3-10

“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.

“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.

“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.

“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

10 “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.(MSG) 

Your heiress, 

With Love 


You Matter, Yes You Do

I know the tomorrow doesn’t fascinate you any longer. I know you dread waking up. You are anxious of what tomorrow may bring.

I know the tears you have wept. I know how much you wish it was different. I know what do now is no longer passion.

I know you have had that conversation with God. You have asked Him to take you home. You are done with all these earthly treasures. You want to be lifted higher than these problems.

I know you already think nobody cares. That your exit will not affect anyone. That it will be much easier for everyone..

I know that the thought of walking in the Sun scares you. I know the walls are your best friend, they hold memories no other soul will ever know. I know there are days they seem like they are talking to you.

Oh and those accusing fingers. Those that point more to them than to you. Those that glare at you through Windows waiting to break you. You can even feel them matter the curses. Of why you are taking this so gracefully

I know of that brokenness. Of how you know you will never be the same. Of how you classify yourself as damaged,  a class you never thought existed.  That place no one can do more damage.


I also know that you don’t need to go through it alone. Yes, it may feel that there is no one, or there may be no one. The emptiness may be so deep but I know of someone who can give you all that you are looking and more.

How do I know

He did it for me. He did not just make me new creature, He took away the old. The pain, the mishaps, the mistakes and behold I became a new creature( 2 Corithians 5:17). He chose me and I accepted Him. As my own personal saviour . He redeemed and restored me. There are some areas too dark you may be in, He will come for you physically. Deep down in the trenches.

But there is a catch 22.

He only works on free will. He wants you. You have to want him. You have to invite him in. He knows.

And He will take care of you. He is a good good father. He has your best interests by heart. Oh if only you would know the things He has in store for you.

Call on Him, search  for him when he can still be found and He will be found. Call on Him ( Jeremiah 33:3)

The plans He has for you are perfect. Plans that will prosper you. Plans that will not harm you. Plans that will give you hope and future  ( Jeremiah 29:11)

He created you for a purpose.  And I pray He reveals it to you. So you may know you are not merely existing. You are here for something that is much bigger that only you can accomplish .

You Matter. Even when it doesn’t feel like so now, you Matter. You are our superman/ superwoman in your own capacity.

You are loved

You are worthy

You Matter, Yes You Doo.


Love Redefined

It matters who you date. It matters who you marry. I do not know how I can overemphasize this. Especially when you are cut out for more in the Kingdom of God. Especially when you are wired for kingdom exploits. It matters.

God is intentional. Purposeful. All knowing. Orderly.  Before He put you together in your mother’s womb, He knew you were there. So did He create the mate to your soul.

My story taught me so much.How much God’s call is irrevocable, no matter how long it takes. I was putting myself in a relationship that I had qualified it as God given. When you really want something,  you will always qualify with distorted scripture. Always. The chemistry was great, the connection out of this world… though looking at it now, it was just like minded brokenness. I thought that I finally had my husband. We made promised to each other. Families were involved. We had already become one even before we walked down the isle to the altar. Our wedding, we already had a plan. Even the possible vendors. He knew about the tents he wanted, I knew all about the dressing and set up. What could really come between us? We went to church and other occasions dressed in ‘His and Hers’. We were perfect.

But …

Why was there no peace. Three quarters of the time I wanted to leave. He was always giving me reasons to stay. I remember there was this day I wanted out. I could not pinpoint the reason and I remember saying something like this, ” God knows I love you but am not in love with you.” This was right after his surprise birthday. I wanted out, but I felt too guilty to leave. I also think I did not really know what I wanted then. He took care of my loneliness, of my issues and I could run to him with stuff only God could solve. When he couldn’t , I got another reason to leave.

He tried.

A man with shortcomings but he did his best considering the situation. He did. Then came the time I had to make a decision to be with him forever. I wonder why women have to be satisfied with the bare minimum. That at least he comes home,  at least he knows my family. He is better than the one before… I felt like I was on a lockdown. That I had dug this grave and I had to be in it. I had made this bed and now I had to lie in it. I felt helpless but I was gonna go ahead and do it. Am a strong woman. Or so I thought.

When there is no peace about it, please do not do it. I beseech you for your own sake. I had made a decision but was it the right one? At this moment i was being convicted. It was time to let go. But how was I to do it? Families were involved, time, emotions.. What to do?

When God has you,trust me He will not loose sight of you. His grasp is never too far. A situation had to be orchestrated so I would see the true colours of this person. That I would see where my life was headed. And change my thinking, it did. I have never met a more cold person in my life. Till that moment, I completely had no idea who I was dating and where I was gonna spend the rest of my life.

I hurt. I was declared clinically depressed after two months. I lost weight. I lost my spark. I lost faith in humanity. I lost myself till God going me.

God found a broken individual and reminded me of His promises to me when I was a child. That what He has promised would come to fruition.

He said, I have called you by your Name you are mine. Isaiah 43:1.

Why then is it that we don’t trust His choice when it comes to the intimate side, we want to choose and ask Him to bless it? When He can give you the blessed choice from the word go? It is time we wait for God’s best and what He has put together than what we as humans put together. We are doomed to fail.

Let God be God and stop helping with His work when you haven’t done yours.




The most misunderstood word in history.

To some it is emotional, to some actions , to sone words..  everyone understands it as a language. Though different.

For 27 years, I thought I knew myself so well to know what love was and what I wanted. Everyone expects you to and to an extent you may be fooled into believing that You Know. The more you know, the more you have no idea.

There is a reason why it is meant to go way above the feeling. There is a reason why it has to become a decision. With every decision comes the task of having researched on all variables. Like every decision, you always have options. You have to perform analyses to settle on the best or the viable one.


It is still so hard to understand love

Do I still love when they cannot show up and am always doing the show up? Do I still love when my heart is broken to pieces? Do I still love when he disrepects my child? Do I still love when they are hell bent on messing up my reputation? Do I still love when they go on to mess up the memory of what i held so dear? Do i still love them, the very ones that sagged my shoulders, dropped my head and caused rivers of tears and fear? Why should i still love them and they don’t love me?

That was my definition of love before i met my greatest love. Before i met Christ. Before i let my big brother mould me. It was all about me, selfish and concieted. Now, there is so much more. Every single day I learn something new about love.

Love is making the ultimate sacrifice even when you know those you are doing it for will never appreciate it.

Love is not boastful. It is so silent that you may pass it since it does not have much pomp and colour.

Love is selfless. Love brings death to self and considers the other first.

Love forgives a multitude of sin. It does not cover up, it rebukes but with so much care and kindness

Love does not give up on you. Even when it all looks hopeless, love will reach out and clean you up from depths of misery.

Love when genuine can lift any soul from hurt, can redeem, offers a second chance and has condemnation.

Love does not keep a record of wrongs.

Christ is my ultimate teacher daily. He is the perfect embodiment of love (John 3:16-18) When you look at people from His perspective,  You will realize that we all do not deserve all He does for us. We mess up daily and he has to take on the responsibility of correcting and directing us with so much patience. If only we could love as Christ loves. Then so many ‘ damages individuals’ would be a thing of the past. The purity in His love, the gentleness and the willingness to serve can soften any hardened heart. He that knew no sin but had to become sin to set me free. What more do I need to be convinced? ? What more?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Love and let Love. We are since God chose us.

Blessed is He that Giveth…. Love